"What You Want for Christmas" by Quad City DJs, the 69 Boyz, and K-Nock. Of course, we all know Trick luv da kids, so maybe this isn't surprising, especially because he has played Santa in neighborhoods around Miami in the past. It's not a funny one, though: Trick is completely sincere when he proclaims his love for Christmas. "It's Christmas" is a one-off from the compilation album Hip-Hop R&B Christmas Gold, and, holy Baby Jesus, is this a fun song. Trick absolutely does do happy, sappy Christmas bullshit. "It's Christmas" by, wait, effin' Trick Daddy? Never mind. There certainly isn't any holiday cheer in lines such as " While y'all was dreaming of a white Christmas/I was out chillin' wit my niggas out spilling/Trying to make a living/And if I robbed for a million/I just hope God would forgive me after I spent it on his children." This is real as it gets! Trick Daddy doesn't do happy, sappy Christmas bullshit. OK, this technically isn't a Christmas song.
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It's all so airy, so cheesy, so made for Lifetime TV that, like a Taser to the neck, "Christmas Through Your Eyes" induces a visible cringe in the facial muscles.
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From the very first Casio keyboard twinkles, this 1993 effort by the face of Miami Sound Machine is an exercise in maudlin songwriting. "Christmas Through Your Eyes" by Gloria Estefan. A merciful God would not allow such horrors as famine, genocide, a Trump presidency, and the auditory abomination that is "Jingle Bell Boogie" to exist simultaneously. "The After Christmas Song," "Let's Go Dancing With Santa," and the best/worst of the bunch, "Jingle Bell Boogie," are soulless, uninspired cash grabs that answer the question "Is there a God?" No, Margaret, there is not. It also contains three original compositions, and, holy hell, are they painful. A Sunshine Christmas is a collection of Christmas classics covered by the venerable disco group. "Jingle Bell Boogie" by KC & the Sunshine Band. Here are a few highlights to keep you semi-sane until the New Year.Ī merciful God would not allow famine, genocide, and "Jingle Bell Boogie" to exist.
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You're simply spending all of your energy trying not to hear what you're hearing."īut Miami often finds a way of turning the pedestrian into una pachanga, and Christmas music is no exception. In November, she told Sky News: "People working in the shops Christmas music, because if they don't, it really does stop you from being able to focus on anything else. And, yes, this practice is actually bad for your health, according to Linda Blair (not that one), a clinical psychologist from the United Kingdom. The sadists at Best Buy begin their assault on our sanity in October. In fact, a 2011 Consumer Reports poll showed that 23 percent of Americans dread listening to Christmas songs during the holidays even though hearing carols is nearly inescapable for anyone brave enough to enter retail stores or turn on the radio in December. Only sociopaths masquerading as normal humans willingly listen to holiday tunes anytime besides December 25. Selecting the best Christmas music, no matter who you are, is like picking the least painful ear infection of your life. Miami Christmas music is a rich tapestry of tradition and trash.